Wednesday, May 23, 2012

51 pounds gone

Well, it has been 5 weeks since my surgery, and I have lost 51 pounds since the beginning of this journey!  I am fitting into clothes that I havent worn since adam and I were dating!  It has been a very tough road, and everytime I get to thinking how it is not worth it, I realize how amazing it feels to put on jeans that I have pulled out of the back of the closet that are now hanging off of me!  I dont eat very much, and need to be eating more, but just cant.  I have to eat so slow, and if I dont I throw up.  Throwing up is a typical event for me after about 60% of my meals.  Either because something has made me gag, I've ate too big of bites, to fast, the wrong type of food , etc.  If I didnt have to eat to survive, I just wouldn't.  Nothing tastes good.  Nothing sounds good.  Everything sounds disgusting, actually.  I know this is temporary, and I will start getting back to "normal" eventually, but right now, its just miserable.  I have to press on, and look forward to the goal!  I need to startr eating breakfast, but I am so nauseated in the mornings ( and most days) that it is just out of the question.  However, the mornings I do eat, I feel much better all day.  Lunch is really hard to decide what to eat, because I dont have time to cook, and the thought of a lunch meat wrap, which used to be very yummy to me, grosses me out.  I have this horrible taste in my mouth all the time, which they tell me is ketosis-the body burning fat, it had went away for a while, but it is back.  My day consists of working, and sipping water ALL DAY LONG.  Anyway,  I am tired a lot, especially if I sit all day.  Here is my new schedule:
7:00-wake up-go take multivitamin IMMEDIATELY to avoid gagging (my gag reflex is on HIGH alert nowadays-and ALWAYS ends up puking if I dont get it under control)-drink water and brush teeth.  Go back and take my protonix (to keep my new tummy from becoming too acidic) and my birht control (well ya know what this is for :) )
8:00-get ready and go to work; Drink water ALL DAY LONG
10:00-take my 2 calcium chewables
12:00-take my iron
2:00-take 2 more calciums
5:00-go home and let my B12 dissolve under tongue and take D3
SUPPER, then freedom til bedtime, which I take another multivitamin and a probiotic.
It is crazy hectic.  I wish we could just take a monthly shot of all of our vitamins and be good to go, but thats not the case. Its especially rough because of the gag thing.  Its all a brain thing, has to be!    A lot of the foods I used to love, (even the not so bad ones) gross me out, pop, which if you know me at all, I was ADDICTED tastes gross, everythign sweet is gross.  Its amazing how one little surgery changes your life.  I had a friend ask me yesterday if I'd do it again, and I told him "you cant ask me that right now, even though I've never lost this much weight alone in my LIFE, I wont be able to answer that....ask me again at 6 months when im down 100 Lbs".  TRUE STORY!