51 pounds gone

Well, it has been 5 weeks since my surgery, and I have lost 51 pounds since the beginning of this journey!  I am fitting into clothes that I havent worn since adam and I were dating!  It has been a very tough road, and everytime I get to thinking how it is not worth it, I realize how amazing it feels to put on jeans that I have pulled out of the back of the closet that are now hanging off of me!  I dont eat very much, and need to be eating more, but just cant.  I have to eat so slow, and if I dont I throw up.  Throwing up is a typical event for me after about 60% of my meals.  Either because something has made me gag, I've ate too big of bites, to fast, the wrong type of food , etc.  If I didnt have to eat to survive, I just wouldn't.  Nothing tastes good.  Nothing sounds good.  Everything sounds disgusting, actually.  I know this is temporary, and I will start getting back to "normal" eventually, but right now, its just miserable.  I have to press on, and look forward to the goal!  I need to startr eating breakfast, but I am so nauseated in the mornings ( and most days) that it is just out of the question.  However, the mornings I do eat, I feel much better all day.  Lunch is really hard to decide what to eat, because I dont have time to cook, and the thought of a lunch meat wrap, which used to be very yummy to me, grosses me out.  I have this horrible taste in my mouth all the time, which they tell me is ketosis-the body burning fat, it had went away for a while, but it is back.  My day consists of working, and sipping water ALL DAY LONG.  Anyway,  I am tired a lot, especially if I sit all day.  Here is my new schedule:
7:00-wake up-go take multivitamin IMMEDIATELY to avoid gagging (my gag reflex is on HIGH alert nowadays-and ALWAYS ends up puking if I dont get it under control)-drink water and brush teeth.  Go back and take my protonix (to keep my new tummy from becoming too acidic) and my birht control (well ya know what this is for :) )
8:00-get ready and go to work; Drink water ALL DAY LONG
10:00-take my 2 calcium chewables
12:00-take my iron
2:00-take 2 more calciums
5:00-go home and let my B12 dissolve under tongue and take D3
SUPPER, then freedom til bedtime, which I take another multivitamin and a probiotic.
It is crazy hectic.  I wish we could just take a monthly shot of all of our vitamins and be good to go, but thats not the case. Its especially rough because of the gag thing.  Its all a brain thing, has to be!    A lot of the foods I used to love, (even the not so bad ones) gross me out, pop, which if you know me at all, I was ADDICTED tastes gross, everythign sweet is gross.  Its amazing how one little surgery changes your life.  I had a friend ask me yesterday if I'd do it again, and I told him "you cant ask me that right now, even though I've never lost this much weight alone in my LIFE, I wont be able to answer that....ask me again at 6 months when im down 100 Lbs".  TRUE STORY!

ONE WEEK!

My surgery is scheduled for one week from today! I still dont know what time, they are supposed to call me by Friday to let me know what time to be there and all that jazz. Im getting nervous, scared, and excited all at the same time. Im nervous about how I will fare with the clear liquid diet the day before and then the liquid diet for 2 weeks after. The good thing about 2 weeks after is that I wont be hungry and wont want to eat, but it will still be a mental struggle. I got word today that all my pre op labs came back good, which was great news! I dont' have to refill my rx vitamin d and am good to just take over the counter vitamin d. I have been stocking up on all my "goods". I have: my "old lady" pill dispenser to put my vitamins in (15 a day for the rest of my life, Im going to need some way of keeping track when I take which ones)-my hibaclens that I need to wash with for 2 days before surgery to kill bacteria, gas x strips (painful horrible gas is the guarenteed side effect right after surgery thanks to all the gas they blow you up with), miralax (for consipation) chewable vitamins, and my special camelback water bottle. Anyway, I think the plan so far is to go down to the city the day before and just spend some family time together, maybe go to the zoo and shop a little. My mom is going to take care of ally until we get home from the hospital, and I am planning on at least 2 weeks off work, although I will probably come in during the evenings and do invoices and stuff that needs to be done. Excited to think that in 6 months from now I will be skinny!~

Big Decision

I havent posted in a REALLY long time, but I have made a decision that is going to change my life FOREVER, and feel like I will want to look back on a "blog" to see what all I was going through. Most people dont agree with this decision, and dont feel like I should've made it. However, I dont ask everyone to agree with it, but to please support me in my decision.
Anybody who has known me for a very long time knows that I have struggled with my weight my entire life. Not just adult life, Im talking ENTIRE life. When I was in the 4th grade I can remember doing the school weigh ins for the report cards, where they line the whole class up and weigh in one after another. I weighed 140. In the 4th grade. My mom would promise me things if I would lose weight, things like trips to six flags, new clothes. We went to dr. after dr trying all these diets. I have literally done EVERY diet on this planet. It continued all through high school. I had friends, and had a social life, but I feel like it has held me back on so many other things. The first time I ever felt halfway good about my body was when I went to college. Most people gain weight, but I was managing to lose weight. Whenever I moved home, and got "comfortable" again, I gained back all the weight I had lost. Now, if you know me at all, you know that I dont sit and watch tv all day and do nothing . I also dont sit and eat a whole pizza. I do make wrong eating choices, and tend to overeat, but I still dont think of myself as one of those people "I see on tv" who can eat 3 cheeseburgers and then go home and eat dinner. After Adam and I got married, and had ally I have stayed at the same weight that I was the day I had ally. I lost all the pregnancy weight, but it has crept back up, and is managing to stay at the same weight (which is a blessing that it hasnt went OVER). Since Ally I have tried weight watchers & slim fast, which both can work, but I cannot seem to STICK with them. I went through a long period of time of "I dont care" and have decided that "I dont care" will eventually kill me.

The big decision that I have made is to have gastric bypass. I have always said its the "easy way out" about people who have had it. I would not call it an "easy way out" any more. I do agree that it gives you no choice when it comes to willpower. It IS the willpower. But it is NOT going to be an easy way out, but ANY means. It comes with hairloss, throwing up, dumping, vitamin deficiency and plenty of emotional struggles. All of these things are NOT easy. However, I have struggled for over 20 years, and I feel this is my only way to ever conquer my demon. I have been "in the process" for around 3 months now. I call it "In the process" because if you know of anyone who has had it, its a NIGHTMARE of a LONG process.
1. Find a Surgeon-I am going with the Weightwise clinic in Edmond (they are basically the top of their class center)-Its a very gorgeous facility, that only focuses on bariatrics. www.weightwise.com
2. Attend Seminar-I went to the seminar in january. My friend Carolyn went with me because adam was in chicago working. They do not tell you its going to be easy. They tell you it is going to be a nightmare. They explain every process from chewing your food to mush before you swallow, regretting your decision for a while, and throwing up and pooping out everything you eat that has sugar in it.
3. Meet the Surgeon. The Weightwise Clinic makes you see the surgeon, dietician excersise and psychologist before they will even attempt to operate on you. I went to my appointment, met the surgeon, they asked about my insurance (thankfully ours is one of the few that cover weight loss surgery) and we started the process. My insurance required a 6 month physician supervised weight loss program, 5 years of documented MORBID obesity, and a bunch of other boring stuff. Well when I found out about the 5 year MORBID obesity, I thought we had hit a wall. I have been obese for my whole life, but when it comes to weight loss surgery MORBID is a game changer. So I met with my dietician, and she put me on a carb free diet basically, high protein, low carb. Then I met with my exercise physiologist and she told me to get moving. I was very discouraged after this visit, thinking there would be no way I fit the guidelines for morbid obesity for 5 years. I got home that evening, and looked at my medical record from my first prenatal visit with ally (dec 07) and I was 1 pound away! ONE POUND! I couldve pooped that day before the visit. So I was all distraught, called my patient advocate (she is my go to person-and had the surgery herself and lost 120 lbs) and she just told me to calm down. I finally decided, if I get to have this sugery, YAY, if not-be thankful Im still healthy and dont have high blood pressure, diabetes, etc-and work on it until the time comes. After the first appointment, they sent me home with all kinds of orders to get lab testing, sleep test, ekg done. I discussed it with adam, and we decided there was no reason to spend 800 bucks (our part) on a sleep test until insurance approved the surgery. So I went ahead and talked to tina (my patient advocate) and we decided that would be ok-but I still needed to do lab work. I had already had an EKG, so wouldnt need it.
4. Approval- Tina called me on Feb. 24 and asked me if I had done my lab work- yes; "well have you done your sleep study?" I got a little aggravated, because she KNEW I didnt want to do it until I was approved. So I said "well rememeber we were going to wait until it was approved?" She then said "well you are already approved so you better get it done". I started bawling! I didnt think there would be anyway, and I was a wreck on the phone! She said she hoped they were happy tears. Amazingly enough, they didnt even send in all the weight history, and our insurance just approved it! She had my surgery scheduled for march 20 originally but I told her that was still a little fast.
5. Get moving! NO REALLY GET MOVING! The surgeons require that I lose 13 lbs (they set a specific % for everybody so its easier for them to operate). I had slacked, just like always, and so when I got the call I thought OMGosh I better get going!! So I lost 6 pounds in 5 days by doing what the dietician told me. I am not worried about losing the rest because I have enough time if I can stick with it.
6. Support groups-The dr. requires you go to their support groups once a month up until the date of your surgery, regardless of how long you have to wait. OH YEAH- I forgot-originally my insurance policy was 6 months of supervised diet, well I got back home the day after my first appointment and checked it again-they changed the policy and dont require that anymore. SO I had to get in to see the psychologist before they could submit to insurance, so I made a crazy mad fast trip back to OKC to see him.

Thursday is my first appointment back since my insurance approval. Originally Adam wasnt in a big hurry to go with me because we thought we had 6 months. He is taking off work thursday to go with me to see everything and meet the people. My surgery date is SET for April 17th unless something changes.. March 20th would have been a quicker start to this huge change, but both adam and I will have to take a lot of time off work so we needed more notice. PLUS even with insurance, this is NOT a cheap process, so we needed all the time we could get to save up more $.

Anyway, now everyone who wants to know-knows. I will go in April 16 for all my pre op stuff and then surgery will be April 17 (if it doesnt change) -I will be in the hospital for 3 days after the operation to make sure there are no leaks and for pain managment. I am very excited, but very nervous & scared about all the changes fixing to happen.

Trunk Or Treat

We took ally to trunk or treat at the church of christ last night. There were Sooo many people I was glad that we were early as usual. This year I decided on Raggedy ann for her costume. I got soo many compliments and so many "did you make that?" Yeah right! I dont even know how to sew on a button. But it really does look handmade. We had been practicing her saying "trick or treat" and shes got it down pretty good. We'll see how saturday night goes when we go around town, (if anybody knows different on when wer'e supposed to trick or treat please let me know) I've heard some say sunday and most say saturday so I guess we'll just look like idiots if we go on the wrong day haha.

Happy (Late) 2nd Birthday Ally!

I have been a slacker lately in blogging, but Ally turned 2 on August 15th! now THAT is hard to believe. It seriously just seems like yesterday! She is getting even MORE ornery as she is talking more and more and learning new words. We had a little party in our backyard, just family and a few friends. After last years huge bash, I decided she was lucky to get cupcakes, but I even got her a cake and it ended up being even more work than I had hoped. The kids swam and played in the playhouse. We have not been doing anything lately, the same ole schedule-work mon and tues, and ally goes to her new babysitter (who she loves) then we stay home and clean (or should be cleaning) the rest of the week. Little Miss Ally as newborn. Should've known by the covering of her ears she would be a brat

Here's ally's 2 year shot. lovin that cheeseball face.

Ally and her cousin cashlyn playing in allys playhouse at her bday party

Allys bday cake- she LOVES spongebob. We gave her a choice between what they had at walmart (like I said, did not plan to do much this year for bday) and it was between princesses, tinkerbell and spongebob and she picked him.

Summer Days

We have been busy busy this last week. Ally has been busy being "cool" and driving all over the town! Ally also had swimming lessons with her cousin taylor all week. Shes pretty young but she is not scared of the water one bit, so we thought we'd better start her early so she knows how to swim quickly. She went down the water slide, jumped off the edges and now knows how to kick her feet and get herself where she wants to go (with floaties, of course)

On saturday we had a bunch of adams family over for a cookout and swimming party (we broke down and bought a big pool this year)-This is ally and her cousin cashlynn chillin. (they look a lot alike because its adams twin sisters girl!)

We have loved having a big pool and have used it everyday so far. Ally was a big helper putting it up. She helped daddy and uncle daniel dig and level the ground (sort of) and here she is in the bottom helping daddy fill it and smooth out the liner.

In other news, I have kind of had "finding babysitter" hell. I need someone to keep ally just mondays and tuesdays and am having big trouble. If anyone knows of anyone with a daycare that wont charge for a full week just for 2 days and has an opening, please let me know! Or if anybody knows any indvidual that would be able to keep her.

Spring cleaning...slow but thorough

I decided yesterday first thing after waking up that I was not going to go lounge on the couch all morning like usual! I usually get up and watched my dvr'd shows, which puts me lazy all day. So I got up in a cleaning mood and started on the bathroom. for 3 years we have just piled stuff under the dreaded bathroom sink, so I thought id tackle it. I went to dollar tree and bough baskets to organize. This is the TRASH pile that we found in there. (a paper towel holder, really miranda?!) I didnt take a BEFORE picture, but I did take an after

AFTER. Everything neatly organized. bin for cleaning supplies, bin for adam, bin for me, and bin for medical We took ally to her first carnival last night . She was too short to ride any of the rides by herself, so nama rode on them with her. This ride was her favorite-the cars. we had to ride it twice. We rode the boats, planes, ferris wheel, carousel, and the cars. She won 2 prizes by picking up ducks and mommy broke a plate and won her a dinky little whale that I could have bought for 10 cents instead of 5$ She tried cotton candy and was completely freaked out by it at first but ended up loving it.

we had a garage sale a couple of weekends ago, and I decided that since I dont want any more kids at the moment, I would sell the crib. It was really tough, but I did it. Heres a picture of her new big girl bed! Now we can lay in bed together and read stories!

Havent done one of these in a LONG time

FOODOLOGY:



*What is your salad dressing of choice? ranch

*Your favorite sit-down restaurant? JBS

*What is your favorite fast-food restaurant? Taco Factory or Sonic

*What food would you not get sick of if you were to eat it every day for 2 weeks? Pepper Steak from JBS

*What are your pizza toppings of choice? Supreme or chicken alfredo



BIOLOGY:



*Are you right or left-handed? Right

*What, if anything, have you had removed from your body? Tonsils, gallbladder, and a baby (CSection)

*What is the last heavy item you lifted? Ally

*Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Nope

*Have you ever fainted? No



BULLCRAPOLOGY:



*If it were possible, would you want to know the day you're going to die? No because I would just dwell on it

*If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I dont know

*How many pairs of flip-flops do you own? AT LEAST 10

*Last person you talked to? Debbie

*What Color phone do you have? silver



FAVORITOLOGY:



*Season? spring

* Holiday? Christmas

*Activity? being with ally (when shes being sweet)

*Day of the week? Saturday

*Month? August

*Color? Pink

*Drink? Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper (sonic)



PASTOLOGY:



*What's the last movie you saw? In the theater? I honestly think it was New Moon (thats sad!)

*Video or DVD? DVD/blu ray

*Have you been in a car wreck? yea

*Have you caused a car wreck? yeah but not a serious one

*Last time you cried? I dont remember

*Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? yea sometimes

*Name 3 things you bought yesterday? breakfast/pop/babysitting

*Met someone who changed your life? Yes

*For better or worse? both

*How did you bring in the New Year? Asleep

*Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes

*Who was the last person you took a picture of? Ally

*What songs do you sing in the shower? I dont

*Have you held hands with someone today? Ally while I was taking her up the stairs.

*Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? last week I had pb&j toast

*What were you doing at 12 a.m. Last night? sleeping

*What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I wish today was my day off.



CURRENTOLOGY and FUTUROLOGY:



*Missing someone? no

*Listening to? Debbies fixing coffee

*Watching? The computer screen

*Do you smile often? Yeah

*Worrying about? I hope adam gets his paycheck today

*Procrastinating about? nothing

*Are most of the friends in your life new or old? New

*Do you like pulpy orange juice? yes

*What's on your wish list for your birthday? A getaway trip

*Plans tonight? Probably cooking dinner and catching up on the DVR'd shows

* Do you have an accent? Probably to some

*If you could change your eye color, what would it be? I wouldnt-theyre blue and I like them

*Does the future make you more nervous or excited? more excited.

Easter 2010

Saturday we decided to give coloring eggs a try. I read in a magazine to put the eggs in a wire whisk for the little ones, so they dont drop them off the flimsy thing that comes with the dye. The whole coloring eggs thing kept her attention for about 2 minutes until daddy and I had to take over. Of course we went to church for Easter, and here is ally outside ready to go!

After Church and the church dinner we went out to our friends house and hunted easter eggs. I wasnt sure if she would catch on, but after jess and I showing her one egg, she was on fire and rearin to go. We hid the real ones outside and the yummy plastic candy filled ones inside.

claiming her loot.

Busyness

We had a super busy weekend. It is very rare that we have those, but this weekend happened to be FULL. Friday night we went with daniel and jessica to vici to eat, and then headed on to webb to hang out and let ally see the mastiffs. Saturday I knew was going to be a nightmare. about 2 weeks ago adam said he was going to help daniel and brian set up for the barlow girl/stellar kart concert and chauffer them around, and I said "I have to work that day, so you wont be able to, you'll have to stay with ally!" Well, he went ahead and volunteered for it. So Sat. I came to work, prepared to leave my noon. Adam called and said Jess was going to keep ally, but that we were going to the Expo and to eat lunch. After that ,we didnt see our husbands until they showed up in the middle of the conert around 840. ALLY absolutely loved the concert! Im sure I looked like a horrible mother taking my 1 1/2 year old to a concert, but she LOVED IT> she was dancing and rocking. By the time barlow girl got on she was pooped and we ended up leaving in the middle of them to beat the crowd. Yesterday (Sunday) we had church, then my niece taylors birthday party, small group, and Jessica and I decided to run over to my dads afterwards and get my bike and ally's trailer thingy I pull behind it. Got there to find completely flat innertubes in the tires, so I ended up walking the bike and pulling ally in the trailer back to their house. Went to walmart to get new tubes and FINALLY got to go home and clean until midnight. AHHH> Ally is staying at home on mondays now with my cousin sara. Todays the first day of that, so we'll see how it goes. Sara might quit and tell me she is a monster. haha.
The shop is still pretty slow, but Im praying for a busy day today :)

Boop AWAY

All of you who have been to my house, Im sure remember my betty boop kitchen. (Or adams betty boop kitchen I guess I should say. Well, for a while I have been SICK of it, and wanted an adult kitchen. For Christmas, I got a side by side refrigerator, so I thought it was time to renovate and become an adult since I had an adult fridge. We had our walls painted black and red, cabinets black and red, tile backsplash black and red, so I knew this was going to be a job. Our best friends helped us and we got it done in a decent time though. Everything required 2+ coats of primer before we could even begin :S. I didnt take BEFORE pics, but I did get during pics that show what we were dealing with.

After we FINALLY got all the paint scaped off the tile and grout (this was the hardest part)

Allys a big helper


TADA: We got all new hardware, light fixtures, wood blinds, its amazing what a little paint can do!!!!

BEHOLD my grown up kitchen!!! I love it!

numbness....

Well, I woke up on feb 9th, to completely numb and asleep feet. They have not woken up since and it has spread to my hands now, off and on. It started on a tuesday and finally on thurs. night I called an RN and she said I should probably get to the ER. Of course, woodward ER sent me home after giving me a diabetes test (not diabetic) and told me to follow up with my doc. So Friday I called Steve Madrid and made an appointment. He came in and said both feet and calves are completely asleep and woodward didnt even do AN XRAY?! WHY? I said, lol why do you think? its woodward. So first step was to send me back for back x ray and blood test. He said my thyroid had a lump and was swollen so we were really crossing our fingers that it was jsut a thyroid problem, whcih is a cause of neuropathy, but it wasnt. So, then he booked and ultrasound for my thyroid to find out why the lump. After my hands started getting weak I called and set up an appt. for this last friday. He said it was sounding like MS and fitting it perfectly, I started crying and he calmed me down, saying if they catch it early it is perfectly treatable and stuff. And of course he said, "im not saying it IS" Im just saying it could be. He said I really needd an MRI but to get my insurance to approve an MRI we have to go through ALL the motions first. So he sent me from there to buffalo for 2 cat scans. 1 with IV contrast and 1 without. Anyway, hopefully will hear something today, he didnt expect anything to show up on the ct scans. I go thursday for my ultrasound on my thyroid and so we'll go from there. All I know is that my feet are still numb, and have never woken up. It is the weirdes feeling in the world, considering I feel fine everywhere else!!!! Anyways, just thought I would update a little on whats been going on.

bug

Just thought I would post a few pics of my new car, ignore the sideways one, I didnt know how to turn it around. Just turn your head to look.

I decided to try and put allys "mullet" in a ponytail the other day. She looked like a 3 year old :(

so grown up with a pony tail. Of course the top and sides are not long enough to go in a ponytail (hence the mullet) so I just sprayed them and made them look as cute as possible. We have been potty training off and on for a couple of months now, and last night she went in the bathroom with my mom and put her potty seat on the toilet, and my mom said "come on lets go", trying to get her out of the bathroom. I guess she really needed to use the bathroom because my mom said she peed not long after that happened. Adam and I both caught the stomach flu, so we had mom come over and take care of ally. we tried as long as we could, but it was not working out that well.

Anyway, just thought I would update a little bit, and put some pics up. Im fixing to tackle this FOG and run a few errands.

Christmas.

Well, I did get my new digital camera-and planned on posting a bunch of pics-but my computer is acting up, so I will probably have to catch up later on that. I got them uploaded to my computer but am having trouble uploading to the internet. We had a great Christmas, and were very spoiled this year.Adam and I got a Playstation 3 for the first part of our christmas. Then I got a new car :) yay! Then I also got my digital camera, which I had just decided to do without because of the new car, but ended up able to get it! Now, the thing is, I HAD to get a new car. I wanted one for sure, but when 1 dealership tells you 'this car is UNSAFE!' and another one tells you "honey Im afraid you're not going to make it home in this"-its time. So anyway, I got a 2009 malibu LT. LOVE IT. It has the sunroof and remote start, and just about everything it can have in it. Onstar and us have gone round and round. too confusing for me. haha. Anyways, Ally has been very spoiled this year as well. She opened basically everyones presents that were sitting under the treee. The ones she didnt OPEN, she drew all over, so our gifts were very personalized this year. With mom and dad being separated it was really weird, but we just gotta deal. Anyways, dads coming over tomorrow and Im cooking a lunch-ham, stuffing, potatoes, the works. Thought I would update with pictures, but was wrong :( next time!

Last

Im thinking this may be my last post. . . last pictureless post that is. I am going to break down and buy a new digital camera, I think. I have one, its a dinosaur. It doesnt print good pictures and its a process to download onto the computer, which is why I dont ever put new pics up of ally. Anyway, I have the one picked out that I want for christmas, so adam and I are going to get it for the both of us. He's getting a PS3 . My mom asked what to get him for his birthday and I told her to just get him Grand Theft Auto for the PS3. SOOOO Im kind of excited to be able to play guitar hero again, myself. Adam tried "fixing" our playstation 2 and broke it, so we've been without for a while. Adam is helping daniel and jessica move into their new house. Looking at it when they first bought it, I would never guess it would be liveable, let alone gorgeous! Anyway, work is going good. Im starting to build up a clientele again, which is good. Everytime I get down and think "I 'll never be as busy as them" I remind myself of debbies words "we've all paid our dues of sitting in the back waiting on something to walk in the door. . . ." its really a patience business. Thats why most people that have been stylists at one time, are not anymore. Takes a LONG time to get built up. Anyway, ready for thanksgiving, I guess. Hoping to get to see new moon tonight.
Ally is 15 months old now! Weighs 21 14 and is 32.5 inches long. dr. says shes just gonna be tall and skinny. OK by me!

loss

Well, debbie had her surgery last monday, so I've been running the shop for a week now. It's been nice to be soo busy that the day just zooms by. We had a horrible weekend. I knew it would be busy weekend. I had to work saturday, until 2 (jessicas baby shower) then come back and do a lowlight, and make it back to triniti and gracies bday party at 530, then christmas play practice at 6. Sunday morning, our phones started ringing at 5 am, but somehow we slept through them, finally at 7 I heard mine, went to the kitchen to find we had missed somewhere around 10 calls/txts. I knew something was wrong. I called my dad back, and he said that Jessica (whose shower was sat. afternoon) hadnt felt addy move so they went to shattuck around 5 am (hence the first message we missed from daniel her hubby) and that addy had died. I immediately started bawling, thinking of daniel and jessica, our bestest buds who we just celebrated the shower with and were going to bring addy home in 2 weeks. My dad had passed them on their way TO shattuck, and grandpa met them up at the hospital and they had called me to be there for jessica since daniel had his "support" and we slept through the call. I cant believe it. I feel so horrible. They sent jess home to wait and deliver addy on wed. when her parents can be here from california, so we went to their house bright and early. There are no words to say to someone in this situation, even if u planned on your daughters "addy and ally" being good friends and growing up, what do you say but I love you?! Anyway, its been rough for me, being a mom and having carried a baby and knowing the closeness and knowing You're "safe" so close to the end, but its sooo not the case. This is the 4th baby we've lost like this in our church in 3 years. Daniel and jess had miscarried previously around 4 years ago at 9 wks, but there is no comparison (in my view) of having a nursery ready for a baby to come home to in 2 weeks and wham!. The whole church family was just shocked yesterday and it was a very teary service. Anyway, they will deliver addison june on wed. and if there is no obvious cause of death, they will most likely send her off to find out, so just keep them in your prayers. One thing that she did say at the hospital was "we got through the first one, we'll get through this too" so they are definetly being more positive than those without the hope of heaven would be.

Special Delivery

Well, adam and I's 2nd anniversary is this Tuesday (Cant believe it!) and as usual, we planned on going to Jbs and my mom would keep ally. Well she had plans already for tuesday so we were left with the option of going last night (Ally is still contagious from H1N1 until wed. if she doesnt run another fever so we cant take her to anyone else) So at work yesterday Debbie yells "miranda you got flowers"-I about passed out because adam is not that type-never got flowers before from him! So yeah, he suprised me big time with flowers at the shop. Anyway, we went and ate at JBS then decided to go to FallADays. Adam has this thing with carrying around my whole keychain in his pocket, so he either takes the clicker off the rest of the keys, or gives the whole wad to me to carry in my purse. He decided to give it to me. Well, I have been pretty braindead these last few days. So I opened up my door, locked the car (while sittin in the car mind you) and last minute decision "Im just going to put money in my pocket so I dont have to carry my purse"-Yep, you guessed it, left purse of floorboard got out and shut the door of the locked car-with the keys on the floorboard :S. So we had 2 options, use a hanger or something feed through the sunroof and hit the unlock button on the inside (which of course, would set the alarm off in the process) or pray my dad still has that extra key. So we called them, and they set off coming back to town. Got to the expo and luckily he did have the extra key. Of course I caught ALL kinds of crap for this little episode. Adam is all the time making fun of me for leaving my sunroof cracked open, and like I told him-it would have saved us big bucks instead of calling the locksmith!

• Anyway, Ally has been sick for over 2 weeks now, took her to the ER like the 2nd day of fever and they said she had the flu. they said she should only be getting better not worse.
  

By day 6 she still had fever of 101.6 so called back to ER, they didnt help so I called shattuck and they said the same thing, h1n1, nothing to do but fight fever. I really was beginning to think it would never end, but finally the fever did, only to remember the words of doc. "still contagious for 7 days after last fever"-my mom read online 7 days after last cough. . . :S Im going with the fever thing. So we've been stuck in the house or at my moms house for sooooo long.
I am still loving my new shop. Been way busier than ever! Its nice to have like 5-10 walkins a day! Im here by myself all day today. Gonna be boring unless they start walkin in!

Long time coming....

Well, I am finally posting from my laptop at my shop. I say finally because its been a long time coming. Debbie has wifi, and her security system runs through that, so she has her WIFI locked so nobody can use her connection, because it slows down the alarm system here at the shop if a bunch of computers are using her connection (the system is wireless as well)-well, since I have a lot of sittin time just starting out again, I thought I would bring my laptop up here and type in the passkey for her internet, no big deal! YA right. I worked for like 3 hours sat. trying to figure it out and finally today I got into deb's computer and just disabled her wifi security while Im here. When I leave I will just enable it agian. So needless to say, its really nice being able to check facebook and all that jazz when there's nothing else to do.
Im still loving my job. I had a VERY busy week last week, and so far things arent looking too busy this week. On saturday adam and I drove to pampa, tx to visit his mom, whose been in the hospital going on 4 weeks. I am very happy to say that all my financial stress is being worked out, and right now, I dont really have any. (for the first time in at least 3 years!) I swallowed my pride and am letting my mom help me budget and get everything straightened out. So basically, now all my stress is my moms stress. She deals with the creditors and stuff better than me, since she did that for a living working at Consumer Credit Counseling Service. Anyway, things are looking up, I cant believe I let it go sooo long. I just was scared to tell her.
Ally is still loving going with angela and the boys. she hardly even looks back when I drop her off :(. Thats about all I have to update on for now.

workin girl...

I have started doing hair again-part time. I'm working mon. Tues. Fri. Sat. I'm loving it. I'm in an awesome shop environment and its just working out really well. Angela is keeping ally up at the framing ally and ally just loves staying with her! Anyway, I'm doing hair, waxing, pedicures and manicures so give me a holler!!!

Been awhile.

It's been a while since I've posted anything but a lot has happened. Ally turned 1 and we had a great birthday party. A very HECTIC birthday party. I have decided next year, we are having cake at my house and just inviting mom and dad. (yeah right like that will happen). Anyways, it was a hectic time with like 50 people swimming and trying to round everyone up to eat and cake and ice cream and all that good stuff. I have pictures, but they're on my regular camera, not digital. I am pretty sure its like a blogging "sin" to post without ANY pictures but this one isnt going to have any.

In other news, Sarah (chiropractor) is getting a new allergy machine, its supposed to diagnose allergies and "fix" them somehow (no clue-havent seen it in action to make a believer out of me) Anyway, she was kind of venting in the nursery sunday how people are quitting and all that, and so she just asked if I would be interested in running her new allergy machine. I thought it sounded really cool. So Im pretty excited. Its not a full time deal, from what I understand it will just be when she has an allergy patient or something like that. I will be able to take ally with me, and hopefully she will stay in the playroom with the babysitter :S. Also, grandmas hair lady that owns family hare center (by the post office) is having surgery sometime and so I am going for about 8 weeks to run her shop while she recovers. I dont know when she's having surgery or anything yet.

So there has been quite a bit of news, for me anyway. I am still keeping Lexus in the midst of all that other mess too. Outta be interesting if it all works out as planned. Well I hear ally awake in her crib.